I spend all day hating myself for one big mistake instead of congratulating myself for the small successes. It’s agonizingly hard to step back and appreciate what I’ve done because all I see are the failures surrounding me.
I see myself as an average person who achieved the normal amount of success (e.g. good grades, no trouble with the law, accepted to college, etc). I pretend that the past 18 years of my life was normal but it really wasn’t. I don’t think I’m exceptional but I just wish somebody would take one look at me and say, “Wow. How did you do it?”
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want some recognition. I don’t want praise or compliments. I simply want to be recognized for what I’ve done which is hard to put into words because it’s nothing extraordinary. It’s just that I achieved the ordinary even though I didn’t have the means to.
I kept up with everybody else even though they were sprinting and I was crawling.
I still don’t think that I’m a strong individual but deep down inside, I believe that I did my best with what I had. And even though right now, I feel inferior compared to everyone else, I’m still proud of myself.