A familiar weariness greets me in the morning and tucks me in at night. I despise its return but also welcome it with open arms. It is a part of who I am– a heavy weight upon my heart. I don’t feel like myself without it. The feeling of lightheartedness is strange to me. To grasp at fleeting moments of peace within a flurry of anxiety and worry is the norm. I’ve missed this feeling. It reminds me that I have yet to let go of of the unnecessary. To forgive myself. To love myself. To enjoy myself.
In. Out. In. Out. I take deep breaths but it’s still there..just like before.